i know i'm not around much lately. hard to reach me on bbm or telephone. and i'm sorry. i know my friends get a little worried and everything. they're so nice. but it's just hard time, no it's exactly a hard month for me. gosh and i just heard the news that someone that used to be so closed to me got a new girlfriend. and i hope that my friends not mislead and think that i'm weird out because of it,because i'm not. i'm happy for him. i really am. he's a really nice guy, and he deserves to be happy :) i just have my personal issues that i should handle. i'm trying now, with my own way.
i'm not so good in relationships. i think i'm a loner type. i'm grateful, God knows how much i treasure my friends, i always want to be there for them, but i just can't share all of my dark thought to everybody. i mean, it just weird for me, the moment i finish tell what's going in my mind, and they'll be like "are you oke?" and i will automatically replied "yah, of course i'm oke. i'm fine" but i'm not. i'm not fine at all. i think i just need to zoned out for a while, so when i meet them and they're asking if i'm fine, i can say that i'm fine and i sincerely mean it :)
or maybe because i cry easily. if i'm telling anyone about my problem right now i'm just gonna break down and cry. and i hate to show my weak side to my friends.
i'm weird i know, i'm just complicated. i hope they can understand that i need some time alone. i hope i can get my happy mood anytime sooner :)
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